We were 12-10 on the season -- after finishing third for the past three consecutive years, behind the damned Red Sox -- and the Goddamned Yankees. But...there had been a gradual improvement of the club for the past several years, and we felt like this year, it might be possible to contend, after a decade of losing seasons.Last year had been only the second time since 1997 that the club had finished over .500 -- and that just barely. But if our young pitchers could come through, I thought it was. I was altogether fully human and in the prime of my life for one so endowed and I owed it all to the curse of my forebears that had instituted my continuing existence in this peaceful valley for hundreds of years with a condition of the blood that needed female companionship to sustain my youthful appearance. No, I was not some latter-day Count Dracula with his horrid taste for human blood and the bite of death that seemed all too boring from a layman’s point of view.I was rather more just a. “Well you really are wrong my dear,” I said. “I mean there are plenty of hot women and teenagers parading around the mall but I still get turned on looking at you. And apparently I’m not the only one.”“Really?” she answered. “I never thought of myself in that way.”“Well as a guy I can say your looks are still attractive and I’ve got the guy looking at you as proof. Next time we’re at the mall make sure you notice those looks.”After that, I had renewed hope that maybe one day my fantasy might. Like a pool filtration system, exotic semen would pump inside the girl until the long, drawn-out process was completed.As she gasped from the rush of the new sensation, Carmen's throat filled with the first spurt of thick, lumpy feed that smelled and tasted exactly like nut batter, probably sharing a distant Precambrian ancestor with human spermatozoa. She swallowed the load as best she could, but one gulp was never enough to clear her mouth and the next rope always came faster than the last.
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