Most were complimentary but several with some sincere criticism. I went back and did a thorough spell and punctuation check, and fixed some run on sen...ences, also paragraphs were too long. One person pointed out that I was being unrealistic on how long I was having my character hit a golf ball, the story was a fantasy but hey he was right about it being unrealistic, and he had brought it up politely so no reason not to make a change. After making those corrections I reposted the story awaiting. Let me tell you how this beganI was out drinking with my college pals and I came home absolutely steaming and horny as hell. I came home and got a quick shower, I then got my laptop out and loaded up some mature and young porn. I started wanking slowly when I heard noises in my moms room. I dismiss them and carried on, after about 5 minutes these noises got louder and sounded like moans, so I snook out my room and luckily enough moms door was ajar. It was that moment I seen my moms perfectly. I awake a few hours later on the lounge with you sitting in front watching some TV, you look a bit disappointed and I am as well when you tell me Jeremy dropped over to say he can’t make it over until tomorrow night. We head out to a local night club and drink, dance and fuck the night away, continuing to taunt each other. We both know without saying it, we want and are going to have Jeremy. The next morning you wake with a rather tender and sore pussy, so we decide to just spend the day. One of those witnesses was our locally-assigned Washington State Patrol Trooper John Evars who was in the courthouse offices overlooking the parking lot, on official business. He heard the squealing tires as Agent Dougherty nearly overturned his vehicle in the middle of Central Street. Evars wrote out a signed affidavit of ‘reckless endangerment’ among other driving charges he filed against your agent.”“But that has nothing whatsoever to do with FBI jurisdiction in this kidnapping case,.
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