On new yearseve! Some exciting things happened... I spend new years eve with a good friend of mine, and his girlfriend. I metthem years ago on the web... because they are into the maid fantasy as well,and we have been close friends ever since. Ofcourse, we are not only friends...but we 'play' as well. I like to be his maid, together with his girl. And sowe did on December 31... it was the first time I was 'on duty' at new yearseve, but I really liked it. I'll tell you what happened... I hope you. Instantly, Nick's hands were both up in the air defensively while he tried his darndest to give me an unthreatening expression."I'm sorry," I said quickly, forcing myself to relax (which if you think about it, is kind of an oxymoron). Taking a deep breath, I apologized, "I don't know what came over me."He winced and remarked, "It's okay, I know you were never a touchy-feely person."It was true, except not lately, and not with him. I'm not saying we had our hands all over each other these past. And that was true whether they were young, like Lottie, or really old, like his mum.Pam started visiting him in his room more often. At first, rather hesitantly, and making no comment about the music that was the constant wallpaper of his life.Chris knew that the records he played were about the least like house music there was and he somehow felt strangely embarrassed about this. Perhaps he ought to buy some CDs of the stuff chicks liked. Bon Jovi, perhaps. Or maybe even something that wasn't. We talk a lot and I know you want your son to have your name. I know I say no. I know I never allow myself to really imagine out loud. I know she will give you a son and I know he will have our son’s name. I know I will hold him and see her holding him. I will watch her taking this life for granted, desperate and helpless to do anything. How can I stand to tell you that, in my dreams, every night, our son bears your name? A name I will one day use for your son. How can I tell you? How can I.
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